At school I was in the Senior Third grade – the final grade in public school. My only interest was drawing – I managed to shine in the art session and after had my drawings pinned on the wall with cut out paper stars attached to add emphasis and teacher approval.

Other subjects bored me. I was more or less a dud at mathematics – spelling and history. Geography appealed, probably because of the maps I had to draw.

One subject that frightened me was days when oral reading was on the program. I actually stayed home to avoid standing up and reading aloud. The thought of speaking in front of the class, terrified me – my voice became a whisper and my knees shook.

This fear was ever present with me, as I mentally visualized performing magic on a stage.

Even now I can clearly recall moments when I sort of talked to myself saying: “You’ve got to overcome this fear or you’ll never be able to all the things you practice and dream about.”

When I think about it, I am still amazed at how I conquered the fear of speaking in public. But I will always be indebted to a popular writer of the day: Horatio Alger.

At age thirteen, I had a feeling that there was a slight exaggeration in these tales of rapid rise to fame. But the plots always had a hook that seemed to provide believability at the time.

As I certainly fitted the poverty role, I had nothing else to compare with Mr. Alger’s characters. I had a good house and, even though I worked after school and sold newspapers, my standard was more in the prodigal role. Having said that, you are probably wondering how any of the Alger stories can be credited with overcoming my fear of public speaking.

By nature he was very shy and because he flushed and flustered whenever he was among people and someone asked a question. He just found himself incapable of speaking. Realizing his handicap and being a determined young man – honest and sincere, as all Alger main characters were, he decided on a plan. He would rise early in the morning – even before his daily chore of boot polishing or paper selling began, and go down to into the basement of a, nearly, empty building.

Alone in this dark enclosure, he would give imaginary speeches to invisible crowded courts – shouting and gesturing. This one-man operation became a daily habit and, in this fashion he developed confidence to speak and, he imagined, everyone listened. Of course it worked for him, he became a famous lawyer and his speeches in court were classic examples of the finest ever heard and he became rich and famous.

Well, rich and famous wasn’t my initial goal, I was more interested in feeling comfortable while facing people and possessing the ability to speak and have people listen. Well it worked. I would go into our cellar after my father had left for work and, speaking in a loud voice I would face imaginary audiences of elephantine proportions and perform amazing feats of magic. The audience would be charmed by my cultured tones and gaze in open-eyed wonder at my miracles. At least, until a command from up above would want to know what all the shouting was about.

As weird as it all sounds, now, it really worked for me. These morning cellar sessions helped me to feel courageous enough to stand in front of people, present a simple trick, and talk at the same time, without shaking at the knees and in speech.

Unless you are a person who has had this terrible feeling of inability while in the presence of others, you will never know the feeling of helplessness that is experienced. Not only does the volume of your voice diminish but you feel flushed – you know what you want to say but you can’t say it. You also are convinced that everyone is watching you and judging you to be a disaster. To have this experience at age twelve and thirteen is devastating.

So Mr. Horatio Alger, thanks for putting [me] in the right frame of mind and voice, I shall always feel indebted.